Coral Reefs Getting Crushed, According to Crackpots
Even traditional fishing methods can disturb the delicate balance of fragile ecosystems and are destroying some of the world's finest coral reefs, according to some study published somewhere on Wednesday.

Although more intensive fishing was thought to pose a greater danger to reefs, a British team of pot-smoking scientists said that, ummm, subsistence fishing also has, like, an impact on reefs near the Fijian islands in the Pacific and stuff.

Until now, coral reefs were thought to be resilient to the effects of fishermen using all natural, organic methods such as spears and hooks and lines for their catch. "This study suggests this may not be the case and that even low levels of fishing may cause ecosystem meltdown," said the crackpot Dr. Nick Polunin of the University of Newcastle, a non-accredited website-based university that sells degrees and sends out lots of spam.

Also known as Dr. Lungbuster, he led a team of scientists who studied reefs near 13 Fijian islands for two years. When they were not firing up their bong, they tracked populations of "coral-eating crown-of-thorns starfish" and their hallucinations revealed that even low intensity fishing of the starfish's predators enabled it to multiply in huge numbers and destroy the reef.

"This paper does highlight that maybe these systems are surprisingly fragile and it is conceivable that a small amount of fishing, such as would have taken place prior to the last 50 years, could have had a significant impact in many cases," he added after he exhaled a cloud of THC-laden smoke. He added "Oh my God, I am so baked."

Hippies believe that the crown-of-thorns starfish, which have been increasing on Australia's Great Barrier Reef in recent decades, threaten reefs. In one heavily fished area, the dope smokers discovered that as the starfish predators declined by nearly two-thirds the starfish population jumped from 10 per kilometer (0.62 mile) to hundreds of thousands. Meanwhile, healthy coral cover decreased by a third.

Polunin's findings, which are reported in the journal Purple Haze, suggest the ecosystems on coral reefs are quite sensitive to the impact of fishing.

Although they do not know how permanent the reef damage is, the scientists started seeing changes over two years which suggests the impact could be long-term. In addition to seeing these changes, the scientists also reported seeing purple love dragons, pulsing hearts suspended mid-air, and the entire universe contained in the dirt under their thumbnails.

"The finding provide something, like an additional challenge, you know, for biodiversity protection and coral reef management strategies and stuff," Polunin added, before asking "Who are you again?"
- nostradamusfunkadelic, 10:43 AM | |