WWF Slams River Dolphins
Asia's dwindling populations of river dolphins are under increasing threat from pollution, pile drivers, dam construction and concealed foreign objects, global wrestling body WWF said Monday.

The statement said only 13 of the dolphins were known to be left in China's Yangtze River where they once proliferated. In India's vast Ganges and Brahmaputra river systems there were only 2,000, and only 1,100 along the Indus River and its delta in southern Pakistan.

"The fate of the dolphins is a warning for anyone else who dare meet us in the ring. Do you hear me people living near the rivers?" said Jamie "Head Lock" Pittock, director of WWF's Global Freshwater Program and reigning WWF Heavyweight Champion.

"River dolphins thought they were tough, they thought they could take me down in the water. I am able to go aqua boogie on their asses because the high levels of toxic pollutants accumulating in their bodies leaves them pretty disoriented."

"Clean water is not only threat to me retaining my Heavyweight belt, but I hear it also threatens the quality of life for millions of the world's poor," said Pittock.
- nostradamusfunkadelic, 11:58 AM | |