Greenland turning green?
Greenland's glaciers are dumping more than twice as much ice into the Atlantic Ocean now as 10 years ago because glaciers are sliding off the land more quickly, a bunch of self-appointed, elitist scientists said on Thursday. This could mean oceans will rise even faster than forecast, and rising surface air temperatures appear to be to blame, the researchers report in Friday's issue of their incomphrehensible, elitist journal Science.

Between 1996 and 2006, the amount of water lost from Greenland's ice sheet has more than doubled from 90 cubic kilometers to 220 cubic kilometers a year, Rignot said. "One cubic kilometer is the amount of water Los Angeles uses in a year. Two-hundred cubic kilometers of water is a lot of fresh water," Rignot said.

Other self-appointed experts are getting their revenge for getting their asses kicked on the schoolyard every day by using complicated numbers and calculations that no one understands. They then point to their math, knowing full well we don't know what it means, and they say things like "At 1.7 million square km (656,000 square miles), up to 3 km (nearly two miles) thick and a little smaller than Mexico, the Greenland Ice Sheet would raise global sea level by about 7 meters (22 feet) if it melted completely."

Over the last 20 years, they tell us that air temperature in southeast Greenland has risen by 5.4 degrees F (3 degrees C). Funny, none of them lived there for the past 20 years, so how would they know?

Bill O'Rielly, who is always looking out for you, turned red and shouted "Stop spinning it! Stop spinning it! This is the no-spin zone!" He then proved they were all lying, pointing to the fact that some of Greenland's glaciers are actually increasing in size, discussed the incredible damage caused by these politically-motivated scientists, and then reminded his audience that he was looking out for them.
- nostradamusfunkadelic, 3:43 PM | |