AGENCY REPORT: Taking the science out of conservation
This is the first installment of a regular column by CHL Treasurer Empedocles Groovalicious.

Here at the CHL, we have been deeply concerned about the trend in state and federal government over the last fifteen years in the use of science to inform policy and management of natural resources. But good news on this front pours in almost daily as Supreme Commander and staunch CHL supporter Bush thwarts the hippies-in-white-lab-coats in their transparent attempts to keep taxpayer money flowing into their fringe research on such superfluous topics as endangered species, fisheries, snowmobiles in the National Parks, mountaintop removal, global warming, mercury emissions, air pollution, and forest management. Since 2000, the administration has bravely created an atmosphere of trimming the scientific fat that has finally showed signs of trickling down to state-level decision making.

Last week, in my insider position in The Agency, I was delighted to take part in a decision-making process that was based on "expert opinion" and did away with the paralyzing burden of "scientific evidence." We were charged with establishing the minimum number of populations that would keep a state listed snake species from extinction (like anybody cares about snakes). Though I vehemently lobbied for the creation of a "Snake Whacking Day," it became clear that we had to produce a number, any number. The results of a secret ballot vote averaged to 65. Our job done and content in the knowledge that developers will wipe out the rest, we kicked up our feet and enjoyed bagels and coffee.

The administration, as usual, is right--decision-making is SO much easier when not hampered by "scientific" considerations. And though you may be thinking that 65 populations of snakes seems like it may be high enough to avoid extinction, take heart: we have NO CLUE if those 65 populations will be able to persist in a sea of subdivisions. I'm an optimist at heart and will sleep well in the belief that the snakes are toast. Score another victory for the CHL!

- Owen, 10:15 PM | |