Ecologists are cracking under our relentless homogenizing
Editor's note: Here is proof that the global swell of homogenization spurred on by tireless CHL volunteers is crushing the minds of ecologists, those purveyors of "biodiversity," causing them to go insane and propose outlandish ideas that can only erode any last shred of public support they may claim to have.

If a group of US researchers have their way, lions, cheetahs, elephants and camels could soon roam parts of North America, Nature magazine reports.

The plan, which is called Pleistocene re-wilding, is intended to be a proactive approach to conservation.

The initiative would help endangered African animals while creating jobs, the Cornell University scientists say.

Evidence also suggests, they claim, that "megafauna" can help maintain ecosystems and boost biodiversity.

"If we only have 10 minutes to present this idea, people think we're nuts," said Harry Greene, professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at Cornell University, struggling ever so slightly in his straight jacket.

"But if people hear the one-hour version, they realize they haven't thought about this as much as we have. Right now we are investing all our megafauna hopes on one continent - Africa."

Wild America

During the Pleistocene era - between 1.8 million to about 10,000 years ago - North America was home to a myriad of mega fauna.

Once, American cheetah (Acinonyx trumani) prowled the plains hunting pronghorn (Antilocapra americana) - an antelope-like animal found throughout the deserts of the American Southwest - and Camelops, an extinct camelid, browsed on arid land. All of these species had their asses thoroughly kicked by early spear-wielding CHL volunteers.

But man's arrival on the continent - about 13,000 ago, and the immediate formation of the first North American chapter of the Center for the Homogeneity of Life - pushed many of these impressive creatures to extinction.

Their disappearance left wondrously glaring gaps in the complex web of interactions, upon which a healthy ecosystem depends. The pronghorn, for example, has lost its natural predator and only its startling speed - of up to about 60mph - hints at its now forgotten foe.

By introducing living counterparts to the extinct animals, the researchers say, these voids could be filled. So, by introducing free-ranging African cheetahs to the Southwest, strong interactions with pronghorns could be restored, while providing cheetahs with a new habitat.

Public acceptance

"Obviously, gaining public acceptance is going to be a huge issue, especially when you talk about reintroducing predators," said lead author Josh Donlan, of Cornell University, between electro-shock treatments. "There are going to have to be some major attitude shifts. That includes realizing predation is a natural role, and that people are going to have to take precautions and large quantities of illicit drugs."

According to Dr Donlan and his colleagues, the re-wilding plan would offer ecotourism and land-management jobs to help the struggling economies of the Great Plains and Southwest, as well as new and creative ways for the Mafia to dispose of their enemies.

Dr Donlan said that large tracts of private land are probably the most promising place to start, with each step carefully guided by the fossil record and the involvement of experts, research, and large quantities of illicit drugs.
- Owen, 5:22 PM | |