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The Center for the Homogeneity of Life Weblog

Charting the events that converge on our goal: one planet, one species, one genotype


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This organization, like environmental problems, could be serious, or not. Most of the time we don't know ourselves.


Thursday, October 20, 2005
 
Alaskan Crude is On The Way
Dearest CHL Supporters:

In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor event. However, because the hippies have fetishized this particular area, it will come as quite a psychological blow to them when the deal is done. Soldier on!

The Senate Energy Committee voted on Wednesday to open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling as part of a broad budget bill to fund the fiscally and morally bankrupt federal government. Tapping the refuge's few barrels of crude oil is a key part of the Bush administration's national energy plan to boost domestic production. In a joint press conference held in a suburban neighborhood, hippie groups and many Democrats denounced the drilling, saying that instead of threatening the habitat of wildlife in ANWR, lawmakers should look at ways to cut oil consumption with more fuel-efficient vehicle standards. Then they all got in their cars and drove home.

The refuge, which is about the size of South Carolina, sprawls across more than 19 million acres in northeastern Alaska. It is home to polar bears, musk oxen, caribou and migratory birds. The energy panel approved the ANWR drilling provision, 13-9. All Republicans on the committee, except Gordon Smith of Oregon, voted in favor of the plan. Democrats Mary Landrieu of Louisiana and Daniel Akaka of Hawaii also voted for drilling. "Opening ANWR is sound public policy that would serve the country well many years into the future," said Pete Domenici, the Republican chairman of the committee. The oil produced from the wildlife refuge "would provide some cushion" for U.S. supplies, he said. "Cushion" was left undefined in the bill.

The legislative proposal will be folded into a much bigger budget bill to fund the federal government, which the Senate Budget Committee is scheduled to vote on next week and the full U.S. Senate the following week. Our brilliant Republican leaders decided to attach the Alaska drilling plan to budget legislation because under Senate rules the giant spending bill cannot be filibustered. They argue the drilling language can be in the budget bill because it will raise an estimated $2.4 billion in leasing revenue for the government.
Comments:
If only the issue of Arctic drilling was a mere pet issue, fetishized as you say, by polar bear luvin' homosexin' greenie pinkos, yes perhaps the issue would be a done deal.

What is unique, however, about the Arctic issue is how strongly individuals from all points of the political spectrum feel about not rolling back the decades long protection the wildlife refuge has enjoyed.

A lot of people misread the Arctic issue. Why so much hullabaloo about a block of ice I'm never gonna see anyway? Well, maybe you may never go to visit the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and indeed the majority of its supporters have not been. However, I'm sure you have at one time in your life shared in the most treasured of American experiences: standing on a mountain in the Sierras or Rockies and breathing in a spiritual peace full of patriotic wonderment at the majestic mystery of the American landscape. I don't know if you have ever experienced this sense, and if you haven't I truly mourn for you, for you have yet to know yourself, not only as an American, but as a human being, a beloved child of our Creator. I myself am a naturalized citizen, an immigrant, and am astounded that some native born Americans can feel so flippantly about the Refuge. That kind of neglect of so fragile a national characteristic so unique to the American identity and way of life borders on treason.

The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge has been one of the cherished treasures of the American Wildlife Refuge system. I hope to go their next summer. I hope that when I arrive, I can say that I am proud to be an American alive in a country that has not turned over every single inch of land to the highest bidder. You see, I am not anti-business, anti-oil or any other epitaphs you may throw my way. I simply believe, as do the majority of Americans, if you have been poll-watching, that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and oil development don't mix.
 
Pursuant to the CHL's Fair and Balanced Commenting Policy I won't delete the last comment. However, I will add that you, Anonymous, are a flaming hippie freedom-hater who should be strung up by his/her testicles/ovaries in the middle of the god forsaken refuge you purport to love. Will your beloved polar bears help you then? No! They'll just gnaw out your insides!! Your time was done in the 60s--the new millenium belongs to the HOMOGENIZERS!!!

PS If Defenders of Wildlife is wasting their money paying you to surf blogs at work, then the CHL is doing even better than we thought.

PPS You do realize that this may or may not be a satirical blog, right?
 
Satire???? I thought this page was serious. I'm shocked, shocked that anyone environmentalist would even conceive of venting this way. The very idea!

The Tank
 
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